Frustrated and sad.

So I spent a good portion of today on the phone trying to find out why my son is having so many problems at his new apartment. He has bipolar1 and ADHD and moved into an apartment that has a small amount of support for people that have mental illness. I won't bore you with all of the conversations that I had, but both his case manager and the lady that leads the classes he is required to attend for four hours a day in order to live there, think that we may have underestimated his life skills. So they think that he may do better in a facility where he can have more help. Where he is living now is #3 in a four level program. So he is one level away from being ready to go out on his own. They think he needs to go back down to level one, which is a lot like living in a psych ward. I think that based on the little that I know, he needs to move down to #2. Honestly I am not sure. There is no set parameters of what abilities fit at which location. I plan to ask about that. John's case manager, Robin is going to suggest a meeting of she and the other lady that works with him, me, John, and the head of this department. I think it all comes down to this: if he wants to live there, he needs to start doing what is required of him or he needs to move to a different location. He got pretty defensive tonight when I spoke to him about it. He wants to stay there. In his favor, I did find out today that Robin has not been working with him as much as she does the other clients because of a billing issue. The boy has lived there a month, and she has not helped him like she was supposed to, but she had no problems writing him up for infractions. So I am frustrated.

I am heartbroken because I am starting to think that he may never be able to live on his own. When you have a baby, you have dreams and thoughts of what he or she will be like as they grow older, things they will accomplish. I feel like I am having to give up those dreams. I know that there are new ones to take their place, but it is still very sad to me. It reminds me of the poem "Welcome to Holland".