In the world of high school basketball, going to a state tournament is the stuff of dreams. This year, the North West Yeshiva girls basketball team from Mercer Island, Washington achieved their dream. Not only that, but the 613s (the nick name given them because of the 613 commandments they keep) set two records. They became the first Jewish high school to make it to state, and then they became the first team in the state to pull out of a postseason game.
Why would an underdog team like the 613s pull out of the tournament when they worked so hard to get there? Because their priorities are set on their faith, rather than their game. See, it all started when the team was scheduled for a consolation round game. That game fell on the afternoon of the Fast of Esther, a time where those observing Purim (a Jewish holiday) don't eat or drink anything. The coaches and the head of the school, Rabbi Bernie Fox decided that playing basketball without any water would be too dangerous for the players. All of the team members were dedicated to keeping the fast and were supportive of the decision to not play.
Rabbi Fox contacted the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association (WIAA) and offered several different suggestions as to how they could still play and keep their fast. Among those suggestions were to move the game to the evening, when sunset would call the fast to an end, and moving the game to a different location in the evening. The school even offered to help finance any costs incurred in this move. But the WIAA refused saying that it would not be fair to any of the other teams, and that it would eliminate the "state tournament experience". Not only did the WIAA refuse to allow the game to be moved, but the group is considering sanctioning the team for forfeiting the game. At this point only time will tell if that happens, as the WIAA will not be meeting to discuss business until late March.
With nothing else to do but forfeit, the 613s wanted to be good sports, so they suited up, took the court and shook hands with each member of the opposing team, the girls from St. John-Endicott. This display of good sportsmanship and dedication to their religious convictions has brought media attention to the small school of 95 students. Rabbi Fox said that he is very proud of his team. "Whether you're in a public school or religious school, you want kids to gather not just knowledge, but values to guide decisions in life," Fox said. "This was a situation where the team was challenged to do that - to prioritize. And they felt that as important as this basketball tournament was, they couldn't compromise their personal values." Purim, the holiday being celebrated, is to commemorate a time in Jewish history when one person's dedication to doing what was right saved her entire people. I think that it is more than fitting that this group of students are facing these tough decisions during this observance. Personally, I think they made the right choice.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Are we there yet?
For most people traveling can be… You know, I don't know how to finish that statement. I don't know how traveling is for most people. I haven't travelled for a long time. More of that "phobias from my past" thing. I can remember as a kid that I loved to travel from Topeka, Kansas where I was from, to Pea Ridge, Arkansas where my mother's family all lived. I enjoyed watching the scenery pass by the car window. I saw so many fun things. As I was thinking about how to finish that opening statement I remembered my fun travels as a kid, but I also remembered the "Vacation" movies that poked fun at the travails of travel, and how Chevy Chase was almost insane by the end of the trip. I have heard horror stories as well as tales destined to be part of family lore for generations.
This last weekend I had the privilege of traveling to Louisville Kentucky. The cheerleading squad my daughter is on went to an event sponsored by the Christian Cheerleaders of America. So, we packed up five cheerleaders, five parents and a lot of luggage into two mini-vans and started what was supposed to be an eight hour trip. One of the mom's husband was a truck driver and had the whole trip laid out for us down to the best rest stops and gas stations. But, you know the old saying about the best laid plans… The first person to ask for an un-scheduled rest stop was me, thirty-three miles into the trip. I should have followed my own advice when I was yelling at everyone to go to the bathroom before we hit the road. So, what was supposed to be an eight hour trip turned into a ten hour trip. We even tried to shave time off by eating at a rest stop somewhere in Indiana. Let me tell you that trying to eat a cold sandwich out of a cooler in the middle of February, standing outside is very conducive to making the meal go faster, but boredom on the road leads to restlessness and lots of stops. Each place was nice and I saw a lot of interesting things, with one exception. My advice to anyone traveling along I-64 is to not stop in a little town called Sulpher, Indiana. The only gas station in town had two port-a-potties out back next to an eight foot tall block and tackle (used to hoist either car engines or large animals for meat processing) as we left, I swear I heard strains of "Dueling Banjos". Scary, very scary.
Our trip back to Missouri took even longer, but this time we had an excuse. We spent an hour taking photos in downtown Louisville and we also stopped at the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. To further our complications, it started raining and snowing. So, our eight hour trip took thirteen hours this time. We rotated who sat where both directions, and I honestly got the chance to talk to other adults (being a single, homeschooling mom, this is a precious commodity!) and deepen our relationships. I had a great time, and I look forward to the next big team event this summer when we all get to drive to Dallas. I guess that I just don't get what the big fuss is about, but that is OK!
This last weekend I had the privilege of traveling to Louisville Kentucky. The cheerleading squad my daughter is on went to an event sponsored by the Christian Cheerleaders of America. So, we packed up five cheerleaders, five parents and a lot of luggage into two mini-vans and started what was supposed to be an eight hour trip. One of the mom's husband was a truck driver and had the whole trip laid out for us down to the best rest stops and gas stations. But, you know the old saying about the best laid plans… The first person to ask for an un-scheduled rest stop was me, thirty-three miles into the trip. I should have followed my own advice when I was yelling at everyone to go to the bathroom before we hit the road. So, what was supposed to be an eight hour trip turned into a ten hour trip. We even tried to shave time off by eating at a rest stop somewhere in Indiana. Let me tell you that trying to eat a cold sandwich out of a cooler in the middle of February, standing outside is very conducive to making the meal go faster, but boredom on the road leads to restlessness and lots of stops. Each place was nice and I saw a lot of interesting things, with one exception. My advice to anyone traveling along I-64 is to not stop in a little town called Sulpher, Indiana. The only gas station in town had two port-a-potties out back next to an eight foot tall block and tackle (used to hoist either car engines or large animals for meat processing) as we left, I swear I heard strains of "Dueling Banjos". Scary, very scary.
Our trip back to Missouri took even longer, but this time we had an excuse. We spent an hour taking photos in downtown Louisville and we also stopped at the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. To further our complications, it started raining and snowing. So, our eight hour trip took thirteen hours this time. We rotated who sat where both directions, and I honestly got the chance to talk to other adults (being a single, homeschooling mom, this is a precious commodity!) and deepen our relationships. I had a great time, and I look forward to the next big team event this summer when we all get to drive to Dallas. I guess that I just don't get what the big fuss is about, but that is OK!
Friday, February 12, 2010
One special son
I am the mother of a child with a disability. My son, John, has bipolar 1. You may wonder what this means to the rest of the world. We are blessed that John does not have the kind of bipolar that makes him dangerously violent, sexually promiscuous, darkly suicidal or manic. He is rather even most of the time, with a few exceptions. But perhaps that is the medication.
We first found out that John had bipolar when he was thinking suicidal thoughts. He was fourteen and had written a will and had a plan that involved knives. We had to wait overnight to get him hospitalized (I still wonder if he will be dead or alive when I wake him up some mornings) and it was there that he got his diagnosis. Once they put him on medication to ease the depression, he became manic. So the doctors put him on another medication to ease the mania. Today he is on three medications, one for the depression, one for the mania and one for the ADHD that he was later on diagnosed with. The medicines have some side effects for John, like weight gain and the chance of liver damage, but they have served him for the last three years.
He still has his manic moments, and he doesn't think things through to their conclusion. He is also very grandiose in his thinking. For example: He is seventeen and doesn't have his driver's license or permit yet. There is a reason. He is convinced that he doesn't need to study in order to pass the driver's written test. I have given him the driver's education book three different times for him to study. Each time I don't see him studying it but he insists that he is ready. He isn't. But, he does not listen to me when he is convinced that he can do something like this. So, the only thing that works is to let him do what he thinks he can and be there to help him pick up the pieces. This scenario has played out hundreds of times.
John also has a tendency to be very focused on one project to the point of not seeing potential problems. As I am writing this blog John is creating dragon busts from baked clay and then is painting the fired sculpture. He is so convinced that he can make money by making these and then selling them on the internet that I let him buy some clay and model paints. He was so focused on painting the art that he didn't put the lids back on the paints when he was done and he spilled paint all over my dining room table. Some simple preventative steps would have helped him to avoid the mess. But he just doesn't think that way.
There are some definite positive aspects to his condition. He has a wicked sense of humor and can make me laugh like nobody else can. He is also very creative. He draws, paints, writes, sing, acts and now sculpts with quite a degree of accomplishment. We just need to get the two balanced out to make him a bit more rounded. All the great art in the world won't do us any good if he ruins it by not thinking things through. All the great acting won't get him a part in a play if he is so obnoxious with his jokes that nobody will cast him. I love my son so much, there is no other person in the world that makes me laugh, cry and growl so interchangeably and so quickly.
We first found out that John had bipolar when he was thinking suicidal thoughts. He was fourteen and had written a will and had a plan that involved knives. We had to wait overnight to get him hospitalized (I still wonder if he will be dead or alive when I wake him up some mornings) and it was there that he got his diagnosis. Once they put him on medication to ease the depression, he became manic. So the doctors put him on another medication to ease the mania. Today he is on three medications, one for the depression, one for the mania and one for the ADHD that he was later on diagnosed with. The medicines have some side effects for John, like weight gain and the chance of liver damage, but they have served him for the last three years.
He still has his manic moments, and he doesn't think things through to their conclusion. He is also very grandiose in his thinking. For example: He is seventeen and doesn't have his driver's license or permit yet. There is a reason. He is convinced that he doesn't need to study in order to pass the driver's written test. I have given him the driver's education book three different times for him to study. Each time I don't see him studying it but he insists that he is ready. He isn't. But, he does not listen to me when he is convinced that he can do something like this. So, the only thing that works is to let him do what he thinks he can and be there to help him pick up the pieces. This scenario has played out hundreds of times.
John also has a tendency to be very focused on one project to the point of not seeing potential problems. As I am writing this blog John is creating dragon busts from baked clay and then is painting the fired sculpture. He is so convinced that he can make money by making these and then selling them on the internet that I let him buy some clay and model paints. He was so focused on painting the art that he didn't put the lids back on the paints when he was done and he spilled paint all over my dining room table. Some simple preventative steps would have helped him to avoid the mess. But he just doesn't think that way.
There are some definite positive aspects to his condition. He has a wicked sense of humor and can make me laugh like nobody else can. He is also very creative. He draws, paints, writes, sing, acts and now sculpts with quite a degree of accomplishment. We just need to get the two balanced out to make him a bit more rounded. All the great art in the world won't do us any good if he ruins it by not thinking things through. All the great acting won't get him a part in a play if he is so obnoxious with his jokes that nobody will cast him. I love my son so much, there is no other person in the world that makes me laugh, cry and growl so interchangeably and so quickly.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Is Cheerleading safe?
On June 29th, 2009 the National Center for catastrophic sports injury research (NCCSIR) released a report that claimed that over the last 25 years over 65% of the injuries to female athletes were caused by cheerleading. Ever since then the debate over cheerleading safety has been going strong. There is even rumblings of some kind of legislation defining cheerleading as a sport and setting regulations into place to ensure the safety of the athletes. So the question begs to be asked. Is cheerleading safe?
This question is near and dear to my heart. I am the administrator of a small cheer squad. My 13 year old daughter is on the squad and is a "flyer". A flyer is the student (female, unless you are in Japan) that is at the top of the pyramids and the one that gets thrown into the air. Flyers are also the athletes most likely to suffer catastrophic injuries. This research has been eye opening. There are two camps in this issue, one that warns of the dangers of cheerleading and the other that acknowledges those dangers, but spends more time promoting education.
The National Cheer Safety Foundation is a group started by a mother of a young cheerleader that was injured while cheering. Their main goal seems to be to make parent's of cheerleaders become aware of the dangers that can be present in cheerleading, and to empower them to speak up if they think that proper safety is not being followed. Their website encourages people to tell their injury stories online and features a spokesperson that is a young lady that survived a severe injury while cheering. The stance of the NCF is that the statistics reflecting injuries during cheering are actually too low. They suggest that a number of injuries are minor and are treated by parents coaches or family doctors. Since the statistics are taken from emergency room visits, this has merit.
The group most responsible for the other side of the argument, and the one I agree with, would have to be the American Association of Cheerleading Coaches and Administrators. (AACCA) Their contention is that the statistics being quoted from the NCCSIR is a compilation of over twenty years worth of data, and that cheerleading has actually become safer in the last two years. They advocate education and certification of the coaches, incremental skill building, restricted performance surfaces and a strict set of rules. The example is given referring to gymnastics programs. There is a certification program for gymnastics coaches, each student masters a skill set before moving up to the next level and proper equipment is generally being used. AACCA wants that to happen for cheerleading. They are working with other programs to first off get cheerleading recognized as a sport in all 50 states and to have set guidelines in place to educate coaches and keep athletes safe.
Back to my reason for researching this topic. My squad is competing in a classic in three weeks. The groups we are competing with is the Christian Cheerleaders of America. One of the first things that we were sent once we registered to compete, was a three page list of rules directly from the AACCA website. We agreed to adhere to those rules at the competition, but we have also take them to heart within our program. I am impressed with what I found at the AACCA website and plan to take their safety course so I can be a better administrator. So I do think that cheerleading is safe, when it is practiced in a safe manner. Now we just need to get everyone practicing it safely.
This question is near and dear to my heart. I am the administrator of a small cheer squad. My 13 year old daughter is on the squad and is a "flyer". A flyer is the student (female, unless you are in Japan) that is at the top of the pyramids and the one that gets thrown into the air. Flyers are also the athletes most likely to suffer catastrophic injuries. This research has been eye opening. There are two camps in this issue, one that warns of the dangers of cheerleading and the other that acknowledges those dangers, but spends more time promoting education.
The National Cheer Safety Foundation is a group started by a mother of a young cheerleader that was injured while cheering. Their main goal seems to be to make parent's of cheerleaders become aware of the dangers that can be present in cheerleading, and to empower them to speak up if they think that proper safety is not being followed. Their website encourages people to tell their injury stories online and features a spokesperson that is a young lady that survived a severe injury while cheering. The stance of the NCF is that the statistics reflecting injuries during cheering are actually too low. They suggest that a number of injuries are minor and are treated by parents coaches or family doctors. Since the statistics are taken from emergency room visits, this has merit.
The group most responsible for the other side of the argument, and the one I agree with, would have to be the American Association of Cheerleading Coaches and Administrators. (AACCA) Their contention is that the statistics being quoted from the NCCSIR is a compilation of over twenty years worth of data, and that cheerleading has actually become safer in the last two years. They advocate education and certification of the coaches, incremental skill building, restricted performance surfaces and a strict set of rules. The example is given referring to gymnastics programs. There is a certification program for gymnastics coaches, each student masters a skill set before moving up to the next level and proper equipment is generally being used. AACCA wants that to happen for cheerleading. They are working with other programs to first off get cheerleading recognized as a sport in all 50 states and to have set guidelines in place to educate coaches and keep athletes safe.
Back to my reason for researching this topic. My squad is competing in a classic in three weeks. The groups we are competing with is the Christian Cheerleaders of America. One of the first things that we were sent once we registered to compete, was a three page list of rules directly from the AACCA website. We agreed to adhere to those rules at the competition, but we have also take them to heart within our program. I am impressed with what I found at the AACCA website and plan to take their safety course so I can be a better administrator. So I do think that cheerleading is safe, when it is practiced in a safe manner. Now we just need to get everyone practicing it safely.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Big Fat Fury!
You know, I have always been pretty even keeled about my size. I know that I got myself here. I am not "big boned" nor do I have a "glandular problem". I am big because I eat too much and exercise too little. Simple as that. I don't blame Mc Donald's, I don't blame anyone but myself. I have endured the stares and jokes with what I hope is grace. I have lost jobs due to fat discrimination, I have lost online "contacts" once the men found out my size. I have been asked my innocent children if I was going to have a baby, I even had an oncologist tell me to lose 50 pounds in one month because the risks of having my cancer surgery fat, outweighed (pardon the pun) the risks of the cancer killing me. So when I say that it takes a lot to get me mad about weight issues, I do mean it. But today something happened that has me so angry that I want to cry.
My daughter is part of a cheerleading squad that is traveling to Kentucky from Missouri. We will be driving in two vans, carpooling to save gas and money. I figured that I had better double check that the seat belts would fit me in both the front and back seats of both vans. The first van, a Chrysler Town and Country was a tight fit in the front seat, but I had ample room in the back seat. OK, that was great, but we were planning on me riding in the other van; so I tried it out. The front seat belt was again, a tight fit, but this time there was a much shorter belt in the back seat. There was no way it was going to even begin to fasten, let alone be comfortable. But, I didn't think it was a big problem because I figured that I would call my local Kia dealership's parts department and ask to buy a seat belt extender. Guess what? Kia does not make seat belt extenders! I asked the parts manager if Kia wanted us big people to just ride around without seat belts or did they want us to fly through the windshield in a crash? I know, it wasn't nice to take out my frustrations on the parts manager, it isn't his fault. So I decided that I had better check with Kia to make sure that this information was accurate.
I finally found a phone number for Kia customer service and spoke with a person. She had to go look up how to placate an angry fat person wanting a seat belt extender, and came back with Kia's official stance on the issue. It would seem that Kia does not offer extenders because they put the person wearing them at risk because they change the "geometry of how a seat belt fits". They further say that if a person does wear one it is their choice to "alter the car" and that it is at their own risk. The lady offered me two websites from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that came up as being non-valid sites. I think that she was trying to show me that the NHTSA frowns upon using extenders. And that was the extent of the call. So here is my dilemma. If I had no choice but to ride in that van I would have to put my life at risk and break the law because the seat belt in the back will not fasten and I can't get an extender from Kia. I did find a company that makes a "universal" extender, and I plan to order one and hope it comes in before we leave, but I am very angry that Kia (and several other car companies) don't offer seat belt extenders! Can anyone guess what brand of car I will NEVER buy?
My daughter is part of a cheerleading squad that is traveling to Kentucky from Missouri. We will be driving in two vans, carpooling to save gas and money. I figured that I had better double check that the seat belts would fit me in both the front and back seats of both vans. The first van, a Chrysler Town and Country was a tight fit in the front seat, but I had ample room in the back seat. OK, that was great, but we were planning on me riding in the other van; so I tried it out. The front seat belt was again, a tight fit, but this time there was a much shorter belt in the back seat. There was no way it was going to even begin to fasten, let alone be comfortable. But, I didn't think it was a big problem because I figured that I would call my local Kia dealership's parts department and ask to buy a seat belt extender. Guess what? Kia does not make seat belt extenders! I asked the parts manager if Kia wanted us big people to just ride around without seat belts or did they want us to fly through the windshield in a crash? I know, it wasn't nice to take out my frustrations on the parts manager, it isn't his fault. So I decided that I had better check with Kia to make sure that this information was accurate.
I finally found a phone number for Kia customer service and spoke with a person. She had to go look up how to placate an angry fat person wanting a seat belt extender, and came back with Kia's official stance on the issue. It would seem that Kia does not offer extenders because they put the person wearing them at risk because they change the "geometry of how a seat belt fits". They further say that if a person does wear one it is their choice to "alter the car" and that it is at their own risk. The lady offered me two websites from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that came up as being non-valid sites. I think that she was trying to show me that the NHTSA frowns upon using extenders. And that was the extent of the call. So here is my dilemma. If I had no choice but to ride in that van I would have to put my life at risk and break the law because the seat belt in the back will not fasten and I can't get an extender from Kia. I did find a company that makes a "universal" extender, and I plan to order one and hope it comes in before we leave, but I am very angry that Kia (and several other car companies) don't offer seat belt extenders! Can anyone guess what brand of car I will NEVER buy?
Friday, December 11, 2009
Recently Yahoo news ran an article put out by Prevention magazine. It was titled "The 7 foods experts won't eat" and it caught my eye. Seven experts from differing fields of research or food production were asked what foods they would not eat. Here is the list with an abridged version of their reasoning.
Canned Tomatoes; due to their high acidity a potentially dangerous chemical is leached from the can lining.
Corn Fed Beef; because corn is not the cow's natural diet, eating it creates a product that is lower in nutrition than the alternative: grass fed beef.
Microwave Popcorn; allegedly there is a chemical compound in the lining of the bag that transfers to the popcorn when it pops that can cause liver damage and infertility.
Nonorganic Potatoes; due to the high pesticide and herbicide residue as well as the anti-sprouting chemical sprayed on the potatoes before they are bagged.
Farmed Salmon; because of the poor feed given to the fish, it is high in DDT and other known carcinogens.
Milk Produced with Artificial Hormones; this product has had a lot of bad press not too long ago due to the bovine growth hormone and its link to breast and prostate cancers.
Conventional Apples; due to their high level of pesticide residue and the links between this and cancer and now even Parkinson's.
The article lists further facts as well as the "experts" that were consulted.
I was surprised by some of the choices. I figured that apples would be on the list and the corn fed beef was not unexpected nor was the milk. I have heard lots of press about these foods, and even have local sources for raw milk and grass fed beef. Now the canned tomatoes and the potatoes did take me by surprise. I had heard that an anti-sprouting chemical was sprayed on potatoes, but kind of forgot about the chemicals used in growing the potatoes. I had not heard about any leaching of chemicals in tomato cans either.
I also found the correlation between the expert's field of study and the "bad" food very interesting. For example: the man who raises grass fed beef and writes books about sustainable agriculture is the one that chose corn fed beef as the food to avoid. Likewise, the person researching the chemical, BPA, is the one that recommends against canned tomatoes because of the risk of BPA contamination. Now, don't get me wrong, I am glad that I know this information, it helps me make healthy food choices. But I do resent that these people were listed in the beginning paragraph of the article as "the people at the forefront of food safety". Perhaps they all do have our safety in mind, but they do have a skewed take on what food is the healthiest. This article is a prime example of how spin is used in the media every day.
Canned Tomatoes; due to their high acidity a potentially dangerous chemical is leached from the can lining.
Corn Fed Beef; because corn is not the cow's natural diet, eating it creates a product that is lower in nutrition than the alternative: grass fed beef.
Microwave Popcorn; allegedly there is a chemical compound in the lining of the bag that transfers to the popcorn when it pops that can cause liver damage and infertility.
Nonorganic Potatoes; due to the high pesticide and herbicide residue as well as the anti-sprouting chemical sprayed on the potatoes before they are bagged.
Farmed Salmon; because of the poor feed given to the fish, it is high in DDT and other known carcinogens.
Milk Produced with Artificial Hormones; this product has had a lot of bad press not too long ago due to the bovine growth hormone and its link to breast and prostate cancers.
Conventional Apples; due to their high level of pesticide residue and the links between this and cancer and now even Parkinson's.
The article lists further facts as well as the "experts" that were consulted.
I was surprised by some of the choices. I figured that apples would be on the list and the corn fed beef was not unexpected nor was the milk. I have heard lots of press about these foods, and even have local sources for raw milk and grass fed beef. Now the canned tomatoes and the potatoes did take me by surprise. I had heard that an anti-sprouting chemical was sprayed on potatoes, but kind of forgot about the chemicals used in growing the potatoes. I had not heard about any leaching of chemicals in tomato cans either.
I also found the correlation between the expert's field of study and the "bad" food very interesting. For example: the man who raises grass fed beef and writes books about sustainable agriculture is the one that chose corn fed beef as the food to avoid. Likewise, the person researching the chemical, BPA, is the one that recommends against canned tomatoes because of the risk of BPA contamination. Now, don't get me wrong, I am glad that I know this information, it helps me make healthy food choices. But I do resent that these people were listed in the beginning paragraph of the article as "the people at the forefront of food safety". Perhaps they all do have our safety in mind, but they do have a skewed take on what food is the healthiest. This article is a prime example of how spin is used in the media every day.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Setting him up for failure....
Is it fair to your children if you, once in a while, set them up for failure? Can it be a time of learning for all involved, or is it just plain mean? I would suppose that those questions and ones like it are not that uncommon to parents around the world, but this is really the first time I have put a title to what I am doing. I mean that I certainly have done it before but this is the first time it has been calculated and had a title.
I was blessed with a boy-child seventeen years ago. We named him Johnnie. He was always a dramatic and head strong boy, but extremely loving and caring too. He has a soft heart and appreciation for beauty and creativity that, in turn fuels mine. In July of 2006 we discovered that John (he decided to be called John after his dad, also named John, died) had bipolar. I could easily take up the rest of this blog telling y'all about the long journey that we have been on for the last three years with finding the right medications and treatments, but that is for another blog post. Suffice it to say that I learned how to be my son's advocate and that I learned way too much about medicines and dosages and side effects.
John's symptoms manifest in, thankfully, very mild ways compared to some. He has problems focusing and staying on task and often goes into what we call "mission mode" where he can only see one point of view and will do anything to achieve that point. One of the most frustrating things is that emotionally, John is only about 13. Physically he is 6' 3" tall and 250 lbs. Chronologically he is 17, and sees what his fellow 17 year old boys are doing and wants the same. I haven't let him get a driver's license because of his lack of focus. We don't have the money for all of the electronic gadgets, or the extracurricular activities either so John was feeling rather left out. All that led to some wicked bad jealousy and complaints that I was holding him back. He wanted a job. I held him off for a while with a promise that once we moved back into town he could start applying at one of the seven restaurants within walking distance of our apartment.
Well, we moved into town just this last October, and he called my bluff. I had wanted him to wait a bit longer so I could arrange for him to get into a "job shadowing" program, where he would have a more understanding boss as well as a facilitator there to help him learn the ropes. But John didn't want to wait. (Was I ever that impatient?) He kept pestering me to let him work, so even though I knew he was going to fail, I let him go. He found a local sushi restaurant that had a "help wanted" sign in the window and applied. I thought this might work out because John wants to be a chef and is fascinated with sushi and has even made his own at home. But it didn't. John was fired last night. Part of the reason was because John just couldn't focus and was not able to perform the exacting and precise tasks that his boss wanted. Admittedly his boss is one of those that wants everything exactly the same every time no matter what, but John was just not able to do what was expected. I don't know if he ever will be able to work for an exacting person like that. All I know is that he had lots of opportunities at his job to learn and grow but, it is like I knew it was going to be… he couldn't do it. I let him try and hopefully he learned. It was worth it.
I was blessed with a boy-child seventeen years ago. We named him Johnnie. He was always a dramatic and head strong boy, but extremely loving and caring too. He has a soft heart and appreciation for beauty and creativity that, in turn fuels mine. In July of 2006 we discovered that John (he decided to be called John after his dad, also named John, died) had bipolar. I could easily take up the rest of this blog telling y'all about the long journey that we have been on for the last three years with finding the right medications and treatments, but that is for another blog post. Suffice it to say that I learned how to be my son's advocate and that I learned way too much about medicines and dosages and side effects.
John's symptoms manifest in, thankfully, very mild ways compared to some. He has problems focusing and staying on task and often goes into what we call "mission mode" where he can only see one point of view and will do anything to achieve that point. One of the most frustrating things is that emotionally, John is only about 13. Physically he is 6' 3" tall and 250 lbs. Chronologically he is 17, and sees what his fellow 17 year old boys are doing and wants the same. I haven't let him get a driver's license because of his lack of focus. We don't have the money for all of the electronic gadgets, or the extracurricular activities either so John was feeling rather left out. All that led to some wicked bad jealousy and complaints that I was holding him back. He wanted a job. I held him off for a while with a promise that once we moved back into town he could start applying at one of the seven restaurants within walking distance of our apartment.
Well, we moved into town just this last October, and he called my bluff. I had wanted him to wait a bit longer so I could arrange for him to get into a "job shadowing" program, where he would have a more understanding boss as well as a facilitator there to help him learn the ropes. But John didn't want to wait. (Was I ever that impatient?) He kept pestering me to let him work, so even though I knew he was going to fail, I let him go. He found a local sushi restaurant that had a "help wanted" sign in the window and applied. I thought this might work out because John wants to be a chef and is fascinated with sushi and has even made his own at home. But it didn't. John was fired last night. Part of the reason was because John just couldn't focus and was not able to perform the exacting and precise tasks that his boss wanted. Admittedly his boss is one of those that wants everything exactly the same every time no matter what, but John was just not able to do what was expected. I don't know if he ever will be able to work for an exacting person like that. All I know is that he had lots of opportunities at his job to learn and grow but, it is like I knew it was going to be… he couldn't do it. I let him try and hopefully he learned. It was worth it.
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