A real family friendly movie!

For a child that has severe autism the world can be a scary place. Imagine what it would be like trying to go to the movies. A strange place with new sights and smells. Darkness followed by the loud movie soundtrack. Even if the child isn't bothered by those things, and they enjoy the movie, excitement and happiness is often expressed by loud laughter, screams, jumping around or flapping hand movements. That generally doesn't make for a fun family movie visit.

Now, thanks to AMC movie theatres that has changed, according to this article at Time.com. In 2007Marianne Ross of Elkridge, MD, was asked to leave a movie theatre because her daughter displayed symptoms similar to those mentioned above. Not satisfied with believe that her child would not be able to enjoy a movie theater experience, Mrs. Ross contacted the manager of her local AMC theatre. Dan Harris (the manager) took the time to speak to Mrs. Ross and meet her daughter. Once he knew the situation he was willing to try an experiment. He offered a unique "Sensory Friendly" viewing of a movie to see how things would turn out. Marianne Spread word through her Autism support group and they filled the 300 seat theatre to capacity. Ross and Harris tried this several more times, each with the same results. Mr. Harris decided to contact the public relations department of the AMC corporate headquarters. Again, the "experiment" was conducted and was a success.

So, now in major cities (see here for a map of participating theaters) on April 10, 2010, thousands of children with Autism will be able to view a special screening of "How to Train Your Dragon" in a "Sensory Friendly" setting. This means that the movie will start promptly on time (10:00 AM) with no previews, the lights will be dim but on, and the sound will be turned down. If the children need to get up and walk around or move, it will be just fine. Finally, any families with special dietary needs will be able to bring snacks in from home. These are HUGE things in the world of Autism. As explained above, the darkness can be frightening and so can the loud noises. Some children with Autism can become agitated if things don't happen in a specific way, thus the starting promptly on time. And a large number of families living with a loved one that has an Autism Spectrum Disorder, are now eating foods that are gluten and casein (a protein found in milk) free. That eliminates a majority of theatre fare. But now, the kids with special diets can enjoy their "safe" snacks along with the other movie-goers.

April is Autism Awareness month, and with the estimates of every 1 in 110 children in America have some form of Autism, the "Sensory-Friendly" movies couldn't come at a better time.

Bye bye birdie

So, as usual I am writing about one of my kids. I think that if nothing else blogging has been very therapeutic for me. I have a theory. Wanna know what it is? I think that God, in His infinite wisdom, made teenagers cranky and smelly for the same reason that a lot of the mothers of teenagers are peri or pre menopausal and the dad's of teens are hitting their mid-life crisis. It is time for them to leave the nest, and this makes it easier, not getting along. Seriously.
I love all three of my children. I have homeschooled them for the last 9 years, and I am around my kids for the majority of my week. I am single, I don't date and I don't belong to any groups or organizations that take me away from the children. This is partially due to choice and partially due to finances. All that to say that I am around them a LOT! By choice. I have had to the joy of watching them grow and develop into independent, thoughtful young adults. Well, one of them is a young adult, and the other one is literally days away from "adulthood".
Last January when it was time for my first baby birdie to leave the nest, I had to almost push her out the door. She knew it was time to move into the dorms and go to college. But she was still scared. Now, my next baby birdie in the line-up is trying to jump out too soon. He believes he is ready to go out and live on his own and escape my "tyrannical rule". He has no money, job or even a drivers license, but he thinks he is ready. I am not sure if this is typical behavior for a 17 (almost 18) year old young man or if it the bipolar rearing its ugly head yet again, but he has now taken to sneaking food that contains ingredients that he is allergic to, lying to me and taking my things. It is not pretty around here right now.
When I confront him on his behavior, the lies and stealing, he swears up and down that he isn't doing whatever it is that I know he is. He is either an incredible liar or he really believes what he is saying. And if it looks to him like I am not buying what he is saying, he will try another tactic. He reminds me of one of those people that put together puzzles all the time. They pick up a piece and try one way to get it to fit. If it doesn't work, they will try again and again, slightly turning the piece or moving to another place. The excuses that come from my child's mouth are like that. If this excuse doesn't convince mom, then let's try to tweak it here and see if that works. I want to ask him if I look stupid or what, but I am afraid of his answer. I am hoping that this is just another phase and if I keep the boundaries firm, he will eventually grow out of it. I worry for his future if not.

Priorities

In the world of high school basketball, going to a state tournament is the stuff of dreams. This year, the North West Yeshiva girls basketball team from Mercer Island, Washington achieved their dream. Not only that, but the 613s (the nick name given them because of the 613 commandments they keep) set two records. They became the first Jewish high school to make it to state, and then they became the first team in the state to pull out of a postseason game.

Why would an underdog team like the 613s pull out of the tournament when they worked so hard to get there? Because their priorities are set on their faith, rather than their game. See, it all started when the team was scheduled for a consolation round game. That game fell on the afternoon of the Fast of Esther, a time where those observing Purim (a Jewish holiday) don't eat or drink anything. The coaches and the head of the school, Rabbi Bernie Fox decided that playing basketball without any water would be too dangerous for the players. All of the team members were dedicated to keeping the fast and were supportive of the decision to not play.

Rabbi Fox contacted the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association (WIAA) and offered several different suggestions as to how they could still play and keep their fast. Among those suggestions were to move the game to the evening, when sunset would call the fast to an end, and moving the game to a different location in the evening. The school even offered to help finance any costs incurred in this move. But the WIAA refused saying that it would not be fair to any of the other teams, and that it would eliminate the "state tournament experience". Not only did the WIAA refuse to allow the game to be moved, but the group is considering sanctioning the team for forfeiting the game. At this point only time will tell if that happens, as the WIAA will not be meeting to discuss business until late March.

With nothing else to do but forfeit, the 613s wanted to be good sports, so they suited up, took the court and shook hands with each member of the opposing team, the girls from St. John-Endicott. This display of good sportsmanship and dedication to their religious convictions has brought media attention to the small school of 95 students. Rabbi Fox said that he is very proud of his team. "Whether you're in a public school or religious school, you want kids to gather not just knowledge, but values to guide decisions in life," Fox said. "This was a situation where the team was challenged to do that - to prioritize. And they felt that as important as this basketball tournament was, they couldn't compromise their personal values." Purim, the holiday being celebrated, is to commemorate a time in Jewish history when one person's dedication to doing what was right saved her entire people. I think that it is more than fitting that this group of students are facing these tough decisions during this observance. Personally, I think they made the right choice.

Are we there yet?

For most people traveling can be… You know, I don't know how to finish that statement. I don't know how traveling is for most people. I haven't travelled for a long time. More of that "phobias from my past" thing. I can remember as a kid that I loved to travel from Topeka, Kansas where I was from, to Pea Ridge, Arkansas where my mother's family all lived. I enjoyed watching the scenery pass by the car window. I saw so many fun things. As I was thinking about how to finish that opening statement I remembered my fun travels as a kid, but I also remembered the "Vacation" movies that poked fun at the travails of travel, and how Chevy Chase was almost insane by the end of the trip. I have heard horror stories as well as tales destined to be part of family lore for generations.

This last weekend I had the privilege of traveling to Louisville Kentucky. The cheerleading squad my daughter is on went to an event sponsored by the Christian Cheerleaders of America. So, we packed up five cheerleaders, five parents and a lot of luggage into two mini-vans and started what was supposed to be an eight hour trip. One of the mom's husband was a truck driver and had the whole trip laid out for us down to the best rest stops and gas stations. But, you know the old saying about the best laid plans… The first person to ask for an un-scheduled rest stop was me, thirty-three miles into the trip. I should have followed my own advice when I was yelling at everyone to go to the bathroom before we hit the road. So, what was supposed to be an eight hour trip turned into a ten hour trip. We even tried to shave time off by eating at a rest stop somewhere in Indiana. Let me tell you that trying to eat a cold sandwich out of a cooler in the middle of February, standing outside is very conducive to making the meal go faster, but boredom on the road leads to restlessness and lots of stops. Each place was nice and I saw a lot of interesting things, with one exception. My advice to anyone traveling along I-64 is to not stop in a little town called Sulpher, Indiana. The only gas station in town had two port-a-potties out back next to an eight foot tall block and tackle (used to hoist either car engines or large animals for meat processing) as we left, I swear I heard strains of "Dueling Banjos". Scary, very scary.


Our trip back to Missouri took even longer, but this time we had an excuse. We spent an hour taking photos in downtown Louisville and we also stopped at the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. To further our complications, it started raining and snowing. So, our eight hour trip took thirteen hours this time. We rotated who sat where both directions, and I honestly got the chance to talk to other adults (being a single, homeschooling mom, this is a precious commodity!) and deepen our relationships. I had a great time, and I look forward to the next big team event this summer when we all get to drive to Dallas. I guess that I just don't get what the big fuss is about, but that is OK!

One special son

I am the mother of a child with a disability. My son, John, has bipolar 1. You may wonder what this means to the rest of the world. We are blessed that John does not have the kind of bipolar that makes him dangerously violent, sexually promiscuous, darkly suicidal or manic. He is rather even most of the time, with a few exceptions. But perhaps that is the medication.

We first found out that John had bipolar when he was thinking suicidal thoughts. He was fourteen and had written a will and had a plan that involved knives. We had to wait overnight to get him hospitalized (I still wonder if he will be dead or alive when I wake him up some mornings) and it was there that he got his diagnosis. Once they put him on medication to ease the depression, he became manic. So the doctors put him on another medication to ease the mania. Today he is on three medications, one for the depression, one for the mania and one for the ADHD that he was later on diagnosed with. The medicines have some side effects for John, like weight gain and the chance of liver damage, but they have served him for the last three years.
He still has his manic moments, and he doesn't think things through to their conclusion. He is also very grandiose in his thinking. For example: He is seventeen and doesn't have his driver's license or permit yet. There is a reason. He is convinced that he doesn't need to study in order to pass the driver's written test. I have given him the driver's education book three different times for him to study. Each time I don't see him studying it but he insists that he is ready. He isn't. But, he does not listen to me when he is convinced that he can do something like this. So, the only thing that works is to let him do what he thinks he can and be there to help him pick up the pieces. This scenario has played out hundreds of times.

John also has a tendency to be very focused on one project to the point of not seeing potential problems. As I am writing this blog John is creating dragon busts from baked clay and then is painting the fired sculpture. He is so convinced that he can make money by making these and then selling them on the internet that I let him buy some clay and model paints. He was so focused on painting the art that he didn't put the lids back on the paints when he was done and he spilled paint all over my dining room table. Some simple preventative steps would have helped him to avoid the mess. But he just doesn't think that way.

There are some definite positive aspects to his condition. He has a wicked sense of humor and can make me laugh like nobody else can. He is also very creative. He draws, paints, writes, sing, acts and now sculpts with quite a degree of accomplishment. We just need to get the two balanced out to make him a bit more rounded. All the great art in the world won't do us any good if he ruins it by not thinking things through. All the great acting won't get him a part in a play if he is so obnoxious with his jokes that nobody will cast him. I love my son so much, there is no other person in the world that makes me laugh, cry and growl so interchangeably and so quickly.

Is Cheerleading safe?

On June 29th, 2009 the National Center for catastrophic sports injury research (NCCSIR) released a report that claimed that over the last 25 years over 65% of the injuries to female athletes were caused by cheerleading. Ever since then the debate over cheerleading safety has been going strong. There is even rumblings of some kind of legislation defining cheerleading as a sport and setting regulations into place to ensure the safety of the athletes. So the question begs to be asked. Is cheerleading safe?

This question is near and dear to my heart. I am the administrator of a small cheer squad. My 13 year old daughter is on the squad and is a "flyer". A flyer is the student (female, unless you are in Japan) that is at the top of the pyramids and the one that gets thrown into the air. Flyers are also the athletes most likely to suffer catastrophic injuries. This research has been eye opening. There are two camps in this issue, one that warns of the dangers of cheerleading and the other that acknowledges those dangers, but spends more time promoting education.

The National Cheer Safety Foundation is a group started by a mother of a young cheerleader that was injured while cheering. Their main goal seems to be to make parent's of cheerleaders become aware of the dangers that can be present in cheerleading, and to empower them to speak up if they think that proper safety is not being followed. Their website encourages people to tell their injury stories online and features a spokesperson that is a young lady that survived a severe injury while cheering. The stance of the NCF is that the statistics reflecting injuries during cheering are actually too low. They suggest that a number of injuries are minor and are treated by parents coaches or family doctors. Since the statistics are taken from emergency room visits, this has merit.

The group most responsible for the other side of the argument, and the one I agree with, would have to be the American Association of Cheerleading Coaches and Administrators. (AACCA) Their contention is that the statistics being quoted from the NCCSIR is a compilation of over twenty years worth of data, and that cheerleading has actually become safer in the last two years. They advocate education and certification of the coaches, incremental skill building, restricted performance surfaces and a strict set of rules. The example is given referring to gymnastics programs. There is a certification program for gymnastics coaches, each student masters a skill set before moving up to the next level and proper equipment is generally being used. AACCA wants that to happen for cheerleading. They are working with other programs to first off get cheerleading recognized as a sport in all 50 states and to have set guidelines in place to educate coaches and keep athletes safe.

Back to my reason for researching this topic. My squad is competing in a classic in three weeks. The groups we are competing with is the Christian Cheerleaders of America. One of the first things that we were sent once we registered to compete, was a three page list of rules directly from the AACCA website. We agreed to adhere to those rules at the competition, but we have also take them to heart within our program. I am impressed with what I found at the AACCA website and plan to take their safety course so I can be a better administrator. So I do think that cheerleading is safe, when it is practiced in a safe manner. Now we just need to get everyone practicing it safely.

Big Fat Fury!

You know, I have always been pretty even keeled about my size. I know that I got myself here. I am not "big boned" nor do I have a "glandular problem". I am big because I eat too much and exercise too little. Simple as that. I don't blame Mc Donald's, I don't blame anyone but myself. I have endured the stares and jokes with what I hope is grace. I have lost jobs due to fat discrimination, I have lost online "contacts" once the men found out my size. I have been asked my innocent children if I was going to have a baby, I even had an oncologist tell me to lose 50 pounds in one month because the risks of having my cancer surgery fat, outweighed (pardon the pun) the risks of the cancer killing me. So when I say that it takes a lot to get me mad about weight issues, I do mean it. But today something happened that has me so angry that I want to cry.

My daughter is part of a cheerleading squad that is traveling to Kentucky from Missouri. We will be driving in two vans, carpooling to save gas and money. I figured that I had better double check that the seat belts would fit me in both the front and back seats of both vans. The first van, a Chrysler Town and Country was a tight fit in the front seat, but I had ample room in the back seat. OK, that was great, but we were planning on me riding in the other van; so I tried it out. The front seat belt was again, a tight fit, but this time there was a much shorter belt in the back seat. There was no way it was going to even begin to fasten, let alone be comfortable. But, I didn't think it was a big problem because I figured that I would call my local Kia dealership's parts department and ask to buy a seat belt extender. Guess what? Kia does not make seat belt extenders! I asked the parts manager if Kia wanted us big people to just ride around without seat belts or did they want us to fly through the windshield in a crash? I know, it wasn't nice to take out my frustrations on the parts manager, it isn't his fault. So I decided that I had better check with Kia to make sure that this information was accurate.


I finally found a phone number for Kia customer service and spoke with a person. She had to go look up how to placate an angry fat person wanting a seat belt extender, and came back with Kia's official stance on the issue. It would seem that Kia does not offer extenders because they put the person wearing them at risk because they change the "geometry of how a seat belt fits". They further say that if a person does wear one it is their choice to "alter the car" and that it is at their own risk. The lady offered me two websites from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that came up as being non-valid sites. I think that she was trying to show me that the NHTSA frowns upon using extenders. And that was the extent of the call. So here is my dilemma. If I had no choice but to ride in that van I would have to put my life at risk and break the law because the seat belt in the back will not fasten and I can't get an extender from Kia. I did find a company that makes a "universal" extender, and I plan to order one and hope it comes in before we leave, but I am very angry that Kia (and several other car companies) don't offer seat belt extenders! Can anyone guess what brand of car I will NEVER buy?